A Malian Wedding -Part 2

When we returned to the base after Paul & Rokia's marriage civil ceremony --with all the cars, trucks, and the bus loaded full and overflowing, the next part of the wedding festivities began. 

There was a procession of sorts into the dining hall where many more pictures were taken.  Seems that everybody wanted to have their picture taken with the bridal couple.  Ladies are dressed in their finest, and Fanta in her shimmering golden gown is a good illustration of the flamboyant costumes that are worn , with no worry to moderate so as to not out-dress the bride  I was also surprised to see Fanta in this beautiful gown and elaborate matching headdress when I knew (because she brought it to me for some alteration) that she had a new 'family wedding cloth' outfit, more elaborate than mine, ready for the day. Same with other members of the bridal couple's family. ...HMMM?  What we discovered was that the family wedding cloth would come out later, used for a second set of clothes for the afternoon and evening celebration. "Tooro te"  (No problem) we were assured.  We were fine in our newly made outfits-- (what else could you say!) We felt seriously under-dressed by comparison.  Ah well!  Live and learn.! Our lack of understanding spared us the expense of buying 2 sets of clothing for the event, not an uncommon occurrence, it turns out, in this culture where there is a prime importance put on dressing well, and having new clothes for special occasions

The church service was in both Bambarakan and French, and a Pastor sitting near us graciously translated bits into English for us so we did not feel too lost.  We have been used to sitting in our services week after week here at the base without understanding much, so it was an unexpected treat to have someone interpret for us.

Tents to provide shade had been set up the day before on the open ground just outside of our main dining hall building, and the guests were seated as a congregation under them.  When all was ready, the couple entered in procession, led by the choir and followed by the Pastors who would have a part in the service. Some wonderful African praise music started things off,  as Paul and Rokia were seated on the platform, facing the congregation. (The same chairs that I mentioned having been transformed from living room armchairs to wedding thrones by a white sheet and bougainvillaea flower sprays.) There were several speakers, a sermon, some special music, and finally the vows, ring exchange and pronouncement by Claudia, who had been given that honor. There was also a special song sung to Paul & Rokia by Christian Spindler- in English, and  a blessing prayed over them by the ring of Pastors as the couple knelt before them.



Ray & Mim Pronounce a Blessing

We were delighted to also have a part.  Paul and Rokia had asked us, as grandparents, and from the vantage of nearly 40 years of marriage ourselves, to pray a special blessing over their marriage as it began.  When the introduction made mention of our 40 years together, there was more of a flutter of surprise and of congratulations than I would have expected, and the Pastors near us (we were seated in the Amen corner, I think) commented wonderingly to us several times.  I wanted to say that to start with, you had to marry young and both live long, something that happens less here in Mali where the average life expectancy is only 46 years of age!  In any case, we felt very honored to be asked!

Wedding gifting in Mali is different from the traditions we are familiar with stateside. When you are presented with a wedding invitation here, it is accepted custom for family and friends to place some money in the envelope and return it to the bride or groom, so many close friends and family have already given gifts of money to the couple before the wedding. These funds are much appreciated and help the bride and groom meet the large obligations of preparing for not only the expenses of the ceremony, but also the food that is needed for the wedding feasts. It is part of the community approach to all events here. In this case, there were parties going on in at least 4 locations that afternoon, and the newly-weds were obligated/honored to visit at each of them.  (His home, her home, and other extended family homes where the elders waited to be greeted.)   There had also been a big fete at Paul's home the afternoon and evening preceding the marriage. At the end of the church ceremony there was dancing and celebration.  The newly married pair are seated on their thrones and guests queued up to greet them and present them with gifts.  Mats have been placed on the platform on either side of them and tubs placed to hold small gifts and gifts of money. At first it was orderly, but soon the crowd thronged them and melee reigned.  It surely is a time of celebration!



People were instructed to go (to his and her homes) for the afternoon festivities, except for some specially honored guests who would have a meal served to them here at the base. We were part of that group, which included all the westerners, the Pastors ( and there were many since Paul is himself a Pastor and well connected) and a few special friends who have high government connections. Tables had been set up in the dining hall and platters of food brought to us.  Sodas, the customary drink of these celebrations it seems, had been overlooked and came out after most of us had finished our meal.  No matter!  They were still enjoyed.

 Ray did not get to relax and eat his meal with me, as he was called upon to drive the bus transporting people to the groom's home in Banakabougou, 7 or 8km away.  But again, not to worry! Once there, Elizabeth and crew made sure he was taken care of.  They gave him a seat and presented him with a 'serving bowl-size' plate of food,  beef, potatoes and other vegetables in a tasty sauce, that was more than he could eat.  That was good, because before the afternoon was over, he made that trip back and forth several times, with more than 30 people in the van that we would say was crowded with 15 passengers in the states.

 Paul and Rokia had not stayed to eat with us at the base (the bride's family is in charge of their schedule yet on the day of the wedding, and had decreed that they would go elsewhere immediately after the ceremony). We were not sure whether or where we would connect with them for the cake cutting, but decided to cut and serve the smaller of the 2 cakes that I had made, and take the fancier, 3 layer cake to Elizabeth's home.  Paul and Rokia did arrive and cut the cake later in the afternoon, then fed a piece to each other, much to their audience's delight.  The elders, (including Ray) took charge of guarding the well cut cake ( they had cut it from all 4 sides) til one of the ladies took it inside, protecting it from swarming flies and street boys who would have gladly feasted on it.



The family wedding cloth showed up on many of the guests that afternoon, and we felt well included at the street party held in front of Elizabeth's (Paul’s family home).  I even responded to the urging of Paul’s younger 1/2 sister and joined the dance circle for a short time. Christian hugely enjoyed himself and gave others joy as well, when he took center stage on the dance floor several times during the day, including dancing with Paul when the bridal pair showed up. I saw that Julie got in a few turns stepping out with one of the younger girls to the loud and lively African band music.

When Paul and Rokia arrived, Ray & I were introduced to Paul’s 'father' and his 'father's brother'-- 2 uncles who are the senior elders of the family, and much reverenced as such. They had many kind things to say to us and gave their blessing to the work we are doing here-- a nice addition to the afternoon for us.  We enjoyed sitting and talking to them for a few minutes, but I am realizing that our 'few minutes' was probably all too brief in this culture that values relationship and visiting so much more than we are used to.  We must learn to STOP  and just sit with people.

As the afternoon rolled on toward 5 o’clock, we loaded up the boys and headed back to the base.  We still had time to see Paul and Rokia off on their honeymoon trip that evening, then Eva and Matthias delivered to the airport for their late night flight out.  Christian's flight back to Austria was not scheduled til the next day, after which things seemed quiet indeed.  What a day! What a week!  What an adventure!

We are looking forward to great times ahead as we get to interact with this precious young couple who will be our next door neighbors-- literally.  We share a common staircase and entry way- tho their simple home is certainly more Malian than ours.

 Come visit with us again as we experience this adventure, blessing and being blessed.

mim in mali