A Malian Wedding

We have been honored to be a part of a wonderful Wedding Ceremony here in Mali this week. Well actually, as you can imagine, the involvement didn't start just a few days ago, but many months ago. Africa, and especially the Malian culture, is one of honor and relationships. There have been discussions and questions, prayers and ongoing blessings given and received that have built a warm and trusting relationship resulting in this invitation.

We began to know Paul Traore when we came to Bamako last spring, as he is the capable right hand to Claudia here in Mali. Paul knows EVERYBODY!! (-well, maybe that is a small exaggeration.:)) He seems to be related to ½ of Bamako, and if he is not related, he knows this one or that, and is on first name basis with at least one of their 'brothers'. (You have to inderstand that 'brother' includes blood brothers, ½ or step brothers, cousins and maybe even more distant realtives who are of the same generation. The term 'Father' or 'Mother' similarly includes many more than the ones who gave you physical life, but extends to relatives of your parents' generation.) Paul has a Pastors heart, and a generous spirit that is a wonderful example of Christ-like-ness in this community. We are honored to be known as his friend.

Rokia Kone is his beautiful bride. She lived with her family here in Yirimadio, in one of the larger homes just a few blocks away from the base. I am not sure how many siblings she actually has, but I can name several 'sisters' and at least 2 'brothers' by name, and a strong family resemblence binds them together. She is warm and genuine, a great cook, and a skilled cosmetologist in this place where intricate adornments to face, hands and feet is considered an important part of any big celebration. We are looking forward to getting to know her better as they will be our near neighbors, having a shared entry way and party wall between our 2^nd floor living spaces.

Now to the wedding celebrations!

Food for the celebrations is an important part here, as I expect you would say that it is where you live. You are likely not as aware of where it all comes from as we are. The day before the wedding the small 'lion sheep' that had been living here since late fall (wreaking havoc on 'my' gardens, I might add) was butchered to be prepared for a special meal. Eva, Christian & Matthias also purchased a larger sheep that they gifted to Paul and Rokia for the fete. That gift involved going to the sheepmarket (with Paul's help to negotiate and bargain) and selecting a live animal, which was then brought back and tended for a few days before the fete. I saw a group clustered around it and Christian near the gate one day. Since it was so calm, fat and fluffy, Christian had spent time getting Jonathan to pet it-- not for the sheep's sake, but to help irradicate the fear of animals in that little 3 yr old. Bless you, Christian, for your awareness and thoughtfulness! Christian also said that he was glad it was not butchered here, as “that was the nicest sheep I ever met”.:))

Mr Sheep went out the gate in the morning, and returned to table as several elaborate sheep-salad plates that were served to us in the dininghall. Layers of leaf lettuce, slivered onions (of course) tomatoes and green peppers made an attractive bed for the hill of canned mixed vegetables and roast mutton that filled the center of the trays. Forks were thoughtfully provided for these honored guests, but I and those around our platter soon reverted to the traditional use of fingers.

I had prepared a small wedding cake for the couple, and had placed it in the refrigerator overnight. (The cake is another whole 'Africa' story of making do with what one has, or trying to plan around and make it work. Cake from scratch, borrowed pan, made cake on 2 days and froze it, experiments with icing and decorations.... Thanks Claudia for your pan and oven. It worked!)

When I asked about bringing it downstairs I was told 'kofe' (later), so we merely made a presentation table by using 2 school desks draped with squares of bright purple cloth- which I had at my sewing machine from making some clothes for the wedding. I also found a white sheet in my closet to drape the 2 chairs, which came from Claudia's livingroom, hiding their comfy softness under wedding throne covers for the bride and groom. We slipped out the east gate to scarf some pink and purple bouganvilla blooms from the outside wall to dress them up and be ready whenever it was time. (I've had a good bit of 'use what you have' training and experience over the years-- thanks to my Mother's example -- and it comes into good use here.) Thanks to the the many at Mt Rock who gave planting funds to us this summer. Some of that beauty goes back to you. :))

At 8:45 we were to be ready to go on the CAM bus to the 'Marrie'- at the official gov't office down at the Yirimadio market area where the civil wedding ceremonies are performed. At 8:30 I scurried upstairs to slip into my wedding clothes, a Malian dress we had made from fabric that was offered to us as members of the family and close friends circle. Ray had dressed earlier and left to drive the bus to Banakabougou to bring Paul's family members to the ceremony before coming to get our bus load. (As the only driver for the bus, he ended up having a full day of driving, couriering us from place to place.)

We hurried up—and waited, as Ray was delayed coming back from Banakabougou. We shepherded everyone (including a few street boys) into the bus and went down to the market---and waited inside the hall. Elizabeth, Pauls mother had not yet arrived. Children were chased from prime seats to give our ladies a seat. Ray and Christian, both tall and both servant-hearted men, opted to stand rather than take precious front row seats in the crowded hall. “I can see over others heads, let them sit,” Ray said. Eva and Matthias stood at the front corner with cameras and took lots of pictures—thanks, guys. Friends & family members sat where they could, street boys and other interested onlookers thronged outside window openings to watch the event. Paul & Rokia sat in front of the table where the official and clerk would soon spread out their documents and the marriage book to be signed by the couple and their witnesses, and we waited some more. Sometime near 9:30 the officials arrived, sat at the table and began to read the pledges (I think) that are required for the bride to give agreement to. Someone told us that the bride must say yes 3 times to be sure there is no co-ercion, but I did not hear we “awo's”.

When the ceremony was finished there was a short time for greeting and a few pictures with officials and a few special people then we adjourned back to the CAM base where the Christian Wedding ceremony was held.

I'll sign this one off, add some pictures and write a 2^nd blog for the rest of the day's events.

Continue to bless and be a blessing to all you see.

Mim for the Heiseys in Mali.